It’s been too long people!! This month, I have failed to meet my own deadlines and expectations for writing, and I have let that affect me and tear me down.
I’m talking insecurity today, and if there’s one word I could use to describe the current battles going on in my head and challenges even in my writing, it would be fear.
I fear failure, I fear rejection, people laughing, or even worse, people ignoring me altogether.
On this blog, I fear not being good enough, not having anyone read or like what I write, and just overall feeling like I’m not making a positive difference in the lives of you guys reading this!
I’m forcing myself to keep typing and sharing because I think it’s safe to say I’m not the only one. Insecurity gets us all in one way or another, and we cannot learn to overcome it without talking about it first.
Insecurity knocks us down and holds us back, and that is not okay. Fear can control our every thought and question our every move, and that is not okay.
I’m not going to present you with several passages from the bible and bog you down with scripture (which is never my intention, if you feel that way lmk!). I’m keeping it simple today.
1 verse. 2 Timothy 1:7.
“for God gave us a spirit not of fear but of power and love and self-control.”
Let’s get something straight. Fear is not from God.
Fear says you are incapable. Unworthy. Lonely. Too (insert adjective here). Fear is at the root of our insecurity. Fear happens when you listen to everything the enemy tells you, all the lies you believe.
And wow, have I believed the lies. As I said before, I’ve seen this in my own writing. I’ve been afraid and doubtful, and what’s resulted is simply my frustration and feelings of failure.
Fear is also a lack of trust.
Otherwise known as doubt.
You might know this already, but I’ve known it and written about it too and I still struggle with it and I know I can’t be the only one. Friends, we were not meant to live in doubt and fear. One of my favorite illustrations of doubt is in James 1 – he compares doubt to being “blown and tossed by the sea”.
I used this example pretty recently in my post on eternal perspective, but this time I want to really bring James’ picture to life. Imagine being lost at sea. I had to read a book for class recently about a girl on a ship, and I remember being terrified and overwhelmed at the sheer mightiness of the sea as described in the book.
Now picture yourself in that boat. A tiny boat, much too tiny to handle the strong waves. As the waters hit, the boat tips back and forth violently and you try to hang on for dear life.
It sounds pretty hopeless. This is what our day-to-day life is when it is shrouded in doubt, fear, and insecurity.
I don’t have a nice, neat, and wrapped with a bow way to end this one because I’m still navigating these waters. Fear and doubt cut deep, and I really don’t think they’re something we ever really master in this life.
The second half of that verse reminds us of what we do have in God. It’s not fear, it’s not the possibilities of the future, it’s not all the ways the next day/week/month/year could go wrong.
We are given a spirit of power.
A spirit of love.
And a spirit of self-control.
These are how we can fight. God has given us the tools we need.
Let’s fight insecurity with confidence in Christ, and in who He made us to be. Let’s believe in the power of Christ’s love. Let’s worship God for all He is, for how much bigger and more powerful He is than all of this.
I’m going to end with the same verse I started. Read these words, write them in your journal, put them on your bathroom mirror like I did.