I started this blog a year ago! Can you believe it?!
I remember how afraid and nervous I was to start my own blog, and if you read my very first post when it launched, you would know this. And so to those of you who have faithfully followed this space and read my words, I truly cannot thank you enough, or tell you how much it means to me.
My absolute favorite thing is when I am talking to an acquaintance, often someone I do not often interact with in person or online, and they tell me they regularly read and follow my blog. If this is you, know your words truly mean the world.
This isn’t going to a Spotify Unwrapped or year in review post, because you’re probably sick of those by now, but rather a writing into a new year and a new unknown.
I get asked fairly often why I started this blog.
And I think it comes down to the desire I have had probably since I was a little girl reading Nancy Drew books and wanting to write things that make people feel something. I remember in the 3rd grade I wrote a creative story for a magazine competition, and even though I didn’t win and was fairly crushed, I loved the idea of putting something out there that people could read and relate to.
And it is that same passion and desire that comes into this blog.
Another question I get asked is what my end goal is.
I’ve always said my dream job is to be a writer, which is always followed by “but I have no idea what that would actually look like for me.”
I honestly don’t ever have a desire to be a full-time blogger, so don’t expect to see that on the horizon. This is also the most I’ve ever written, there are no secret novels in the works.
But something I’m constantly reminding myself is that I am 20 years old, and who says I have to have it all figured out?!
This is easier said than done, with me entering this year in college, and planning to end 2020 as a college graduate (hopefully) with a full-time job. And that is TERRIFYING to think about, honestly. This is the most up in the air the next 12 months of my life have ever been, a feeling I’m told will become all too familiar in my 20s.
I also don’t want to include my New Years Resolutions here and make this post about that.
If you are working toward better eating or fitness habits, know that I too am fighting complacency and drive-thrus every night.
If you are working towards a specific job, promotion, or acceptance, know that I am also nervously applying for post-grad things and tip-toeing towards the real world.
If you are 17 days into 2020 and already feeling defeated, discouraged, afraid or anxious about the next 12 months, know that I am walking beside you, fighting fear and doubt every day as I seek peace from the Lord and the ultimate source of peace and contentment.
In so many ways, I am in the same place I was a year ago when I started this blog – nervous and afraid, not wanting to take the first step.
Today, I happened to be in Isaiah 14, which says this
“Surely as I have planned, so shall it be,
and as I have purposed, so it will happen.
I will crush the Assyrian in my land;
on my mountains will I trample him down.
His yoke will be taken from my people,
and his burden removed from their shoulders.”
Isaiah 14:24-25
I always like to keep the bible in its original context, which means you’re probably wondering now who the heck Assyria is, and why God is so bent on trampling them.
As I learned last semester in my Bible as Literature Class (shoutout to you, Dr. Perry!) Assyria was a huge power during the time this prophesy was written. The Israelites would’ve found comfort in the fact that the Lord has promised to defeat Assyria someday, and reminding them that they can depend on the things He says.
This does not mean the things we want will happen to us automatically. But it does mean that God promises His steadfast love and faithfulness to remain regardless of the circumstances. It means that even though this world and the things in it are temporary, God’s kingdom cannot be shaken.
I am having to remind myself we don’t worship and desire to follow God because He gives us the things we want, or even the things we think He wants for us, but for His ultimate glory. This is a scary truth to lean into somedays, but I have also been learning to find comfort in it.
I heard this on a podcast recently:
“You just have to think about the 24 hours in front of you”
And this is something I have been repeating in my head often these past few weeks, and I want to leave you and encourage you with.
I don’t have a 5 or 10-year plan to get to a place and say, “now I have succeeded.” But I find comfort in that I do not have to have this if I am trusting that God will get me where I need to be, given I am a faithful steward and say yes-er to the things He has placed in front of me.