I sat with Wes at Layne’s the Sunday night before the start of the spring semester, which seems like so much longer than 3 months ago for more reasons than one.
We were talking about the future and all the scary uncertainties that go along with that. And he asked me a question I don’t know if I ever actually asked myself.
“What do you want to do with your life?”
I went into college convinced I wanted to be a teacher and was uncertain about that almost immediately, yet still spent the rest of college going back and forth and asking myself the question:
“Well, what else am I gonna do?”
There’s a fundamental difference in those two questions. I am not saying that we should choose careers only based on what we enjoy, or that everyone has the privilege to pursue their career passions through higher education, but I definitely think it’s an important question to ask ourselves. Even if the answer is, “I can’t do that” or “that’s not possible right now.”
Unrelated, but if there is anything I’ve learned through all of this, it’s that it isn’t bad to allow yourself to dream outside of what you are “supposed to do”. And that’s what Wes made me do that night in Layne’s eating greasy fried chicken.
And the first thing that popped into my head was,
“Well, I think I’d like to do what my boss does.”
Group fitness has slowly throughout college morphed from “I’m going to buy this unlimited pass so I force myself to work out routinely” to “I enjoy working out and notice the ways it improves the way I feel.” I began to see this change fully when writing a recent post in December in response to the viral Peleton commercial.
And what started as those simple words turned into a hesitant email and a meeting with my incredible boss and mentor Anna (who I know is reading this – I can never express how grateful I am for you!) and our current graduate assistant. That was the first day I looked at what it would look like for me to also become a graduate assistant, as that was the first step my boss, and many fitness professionals do, post-undergrad.
The timing of all of this still sends me to my knees praising the Lord every time.
Most of the time, it feels like us and God are on two completely different timelines of what we want versus what it turns out He has for us. We have an end goal intricately mapped out in our head like a postcard on a fridge. I think anyone can speak of a time when they felt like God wasn’t there or doing anything, or like they were waiting on Him to act. But this time, it felt as though I was being pulled along blindfolded, unsure of the destination.
Exactly a week after I had my first conversation with my director about all of this, I was in her office again going over cover letters and my resume.
The next week, I was in her office prepping for an interview.
2 weeks after, almost exactly a month after that first meeting, I would be offered a graduate assistant position in Fitness and Wellbeing with Virginia Tech Rec Sports.
That’s my first time typing that, speaking those words into existence on the internet. It’s one thing to call and text friends and family updates during the whirlwind of it all, but now, telling you all, I feel the reality of this statement in a different way.
It’s hard to truly put into words how I felt during that time. I was simultaneously excited and terrified. It didn’t feel completely real. It was honestly stressful having to explain to people how I suddenly decided to apply to grad school. I was also thankful for my village, the people who prayed for me, wrote letters of recommendation, gave words of wisdom and comfort, and walked alongside me during that time. I’ve never felt a community supporting and building me up the way I did then, and it was so encouraging and beautiful to see.
But I also had more peace than I could have had on my own. I was seeing God do this incredible work right before my eyes, and I had full confidence that He was placing me on this path for a reason.
I obviously still don’t know what the complete trajectory of my life is. I know I’m moving to Blacksburg, Virginia at some point this summer and starting a two-year graduate program in Public Health and working for VT Rec Sports. Beyond that, though? I don’t have much of an idea.
I know our world is in a time of uncertainty right now too. There’s a lot of fear and hopelessness and confusion and I get that. But the same God who I’ve seen work in a mighty way in my life is also in control of this world, and no disease, political unrest or economic loss can change that fact.